huh?comes from just complete amazement!The things that come out of people's mouths,the things they do and the things they ask you to do.I just usually stand around with my mouth hung wide open going huh?

Friday, August 7, 2009

Running Away

All I think about lately is running away.I know it's not an option but it makes me really happy to day dream about it.It's not that my life is bad,Actually my life is pretty good.No real complaints.So,I asked myself why do I keep a packed bag in the trunk of my car that no one knows about.I don't know,so I ve been thinking about it alot lately.I remember my childhood dreams,wanting to join the peace corp,be a rockstar,travel the world,marry a knight,know five languages and so on.Not one of these dreams came true,in which I only have myself to blame.So,I guess I need to set a new set of dreams and make at least one of them come true.But,as I get older,I can't really think of no new dreams to hope for.My dreams now concern my son,hoping he'll go to college,praying he'll stay out of trouble,wanting him to stay healthy and for him to have a wonderful life.And yes I know that's what parents are supposed to want.But,we also shouldn't give up on our own needs,wants and desires.I think it takes happy parents to raise a happy child.I have to find my own way again soon, as he is already fifteen years old and soon to become a man.That whole last sentence depresses me and makes me happy all at the same time.I'm scared to think of living my life without my son under my roof,but I know it's coming.That means,I have to find my own life and happiness all over again.He's been my whole life for so long.Now,getting back to what I was originaly talking about,running away.Life has become quite stressful at times lately and maybe I'm not dealing with it well.But,I will start making my own real life dreams come true and if not I got a bag packed in the car ready to go.Once I pack up my son,my two dogs,my pillow and fan,we'll leave.Maybe, that's really not running away at all.Sounds more like moving.

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